Her Cup Overflows Podcast

Fasting: The Divine Calling for Realignment

• Qwanze Tolbert • Episode 5

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Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the daily grind, longing for a moment of clarity and reconnection with your inner compass? That's exactly where I found myself before embracing the life-changing practice of intentional fasting. This monthly ritual has redefined my world, and today, I'm opening up about my journey.

In this episode, I invite you to consider how taking a deliberate pause can bridge you back to spiritual alignment and purpose. This isn't just my story; it's an invitation to explore the power of fasting in your own life. Imagine regaining focus on what truly matters and tapping into the well of potential that lies within you.

As I embark on a new chapter with my boyfriend, revamp my company, The Spiritual Tea Co., and launch this podcast, I've faced the challenge of maintaining discipline amid the siren call of social media. Hear how I balance product development, brand expansion, and my heartfelt commitment to each listener and the broader mission behind my work.

Discover the art of intentional fasting and how it can center us, eliminate distractions, and re-align us with our divine calling. I’ll also share inspiring stories from others, like two young mothers who've found community and support through a shared fasting practice. Get ready to uncover the strength of intentional pauses and rekindle your divine guidance.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Her Cup Overflows podcast. I'm your host and cultured certified Reiki master, kwanzaa Tolbert. If you're new here or you chose to circle the block with me, I thank you and welcome you just the same. Her Cup Overflows is a listening community of healing for the mind, body and soul. Each episode is a timeless conversation overflowing with wisdom to fill your cup with resilience, courage and empowerment. These conversations are inspired by real-life experiences, the traumas and the triumphs. But it wouldn't be a place for healing if I didn't hold a safe space for trauma, without judgment, but with accountability, honesty and commitment, because in those three things lies your superpower to overcome life's adversities, and that new energy becomes the catalyst to you living out loud, living freely and unapologetically. On your terms, that is Her Cup Overflows. So, y'all, this episode is very impromptu Well, actually not impromptu, but the topic of this episode was very impromptu and I am going totally off script, right? So, typically, what podcasting looks like to me on a weekly basis is being very prepared. I'm talking about, you know, maybe like some weeks ahead, or even some months, because I'm forever having conversations or different interactions with people and it makes me think about things that are helpful to her cup overflows community that I want to share or dive deeper into. And so you know, I take notes and things like that and then, as I prepare to record the episode, I always write out my transcript, because Lord knows, these platforms for these podcasts, that does the transcribing for you. They will have you out here looking real crazy. So I typically write out my own transcript and then that's how I do the recording. So tell you all that because this particular episode, I don't have a transcript, I don't have an outline, I don't, I don't have any of those things. And having an outline and a transcript is so important for me when podcasting because, honey, I chase squirrels so bad. I could be on here talking to you about doggone meditation and healing and Reiki, and then next thing you know, I'm telling you about how the trees look in my backyard. So, yeah, it's that bad. So this is pure conversation for me, for real, and it was because this week I had actually planned not to publish a new episode, just keeping it all the way.

Speaker 1:

Real Life is life, life is life, and I'm pretty sure many of you can attest to my, my sentiments right now that life is really life, and from every doggone angle that I can think of, from being a parent, from being a leader in corporate America to being an entrepreneur of multiple businesses, from being a spouse to being a daughter to being a friend. Like life is turning me every which way, but loose in this moment at least, I thought, and so I had this whole checklist of things that I needed to get done that is relevant to my personal and professional life, and I was like you know what? I don't have the time this go around to fit in a podcast, like I need to focus on everything else, I need to take care of everything else, and then you know I'll just put a post out there, send an email I make sure I post to the spiritual tea company website, you know, to let you all know, cause I love y'all and you know I want to leave you hanging. I know y'all be looking forward to this and I'm truly grateful for that, but I was letting life get the best of me so fast forward. I'm in my house yesterday and I am cleaning. That was one of the things that I needed to do. I have been putting off for a while now, like the whole spring cleaning thing. Yes, I am one of those people. And so I was like, okay, I need to get XX, xx, xx and X done as part of my spring cleaning.

Speaker 1:

On yesterday, and while I was doing my spring cleaning, I just so happened to be in my Zen room where I do my meditation, my deep prayers, my altar work, things like that. And while I was in there, cleaning, wasn't even doing anything spiritual, wasn't meditating, I wasn't doing any of that. And it fell in my spirit so deep that I needed to fast. I needed to really fast because I have lost sight and the voice of God within me. So right now I'm operating off pure physicality, operating off every human emotion, thought, feeling that comes to mind. That's what's really leading me in this moment. And the thing about operating off of pure physicality and just being human is that's where we insert limits. We begin to limit our dreams, our capacity, our capability, all of the things. That is limitless when you are operating in alignment with God. And so when the notion came to me, or the feeling, the knowing dropped in my spirit, that I needed to fast, I started laughing because at the same time, I knew that the fasting for me is also something that you needed to hear about too. There's something going on in your life where you need to fast. You need to take an intentional pause so that way you can get back to listening to God and aligning to his plan and purpose that he had for you from the beginning.

Speaker 1:

So let me tell you a little bit about me when it comes to fasting. I'm no stranger to fasting at all. About a year into my healing journey I started fasting and fasting became a monthly goal for me. So I would fast for seven days straight, typically starting on a Sunday or a Monday, and then do a seven day fast of no meats, no social media, no sugar, no alcohol. I would eat more fruits and veggies, drink water, do more intentional meditations, prayers, things like that, during the seven day fast. I was faithfully doing this up until around June of last year because I had to have an unexpected surgery to remove my gall bladder we going to talk about that another story for another day because God had to force me into that too, where I was being real disobedient. So, anyway, I had my gallbladder surgery, I went through my recovery period, my son was graduated from high school and preparing to go to college and I was preparing to relocate. So all of these things were happening at the same time and I kind of had fell off from doing my fasting.

Speaker 1:

So fast forward, I relocate, my boyfriend and I, we relocate to our new area and still, just because so much comes with this at the same time, right, I'm still working. I'm a leader in corporate America, so, you know, I'm still filling out my obligations there. I'm trying to get acclimated to the new area that we're in. I had took a pause with the spiritual tea company, my online sales and all of that, because, you know it, just I didn't want to have any problems or discrepancies or create any customer issues. You know, in between my move, so a lot of things were happening that I was trying to get my company back up and running and, just, you know, unpacking. I'm moving into this new area, I need to learn this new area, all of this stuff. So I'm not, I haven't fast, you know, in a while. So fast forward, I'm in this new area.

Speaker 1:

I've been here now for about six months, but during this time I have only fasted once and it was another one of those times where it fell on my spirit and said I needed to fast. But let me just tell you, even even during that time I was being disobedient, I wasn't fully committed, is what happened? So and my boyfriend he does not help this situation at all. I tell him this all the time is that he just let me do and live however I want to, right, he would give me so many excuses to do so many of the silly things that I want to do, and it's his love language. So I love that. I love that for me because he loves that for me.

Speaker 1:

But the one time that I was fasting, I knew I needed to and so, like I just explained, I always do no meats right during my fast and so, unfortunately, I didn't prepare in the way that I usually prepare. So when I was doing it faithfully, I would always cook my meals like I would prepare my meals ahead of time, because it made it easier for me. Just from my experience, anytime I left myself open to have to figure out what I'm going to eat in my fast and knowing that it's outside of my normal diet, right, knowing that on a regular I'm going to eat whatever meat that I want to, whatever fruits, whatever veggies, whatever junk food, however it looks, but with fasting it's very particular, and so anytime I didn't have those meals readily available for me, I would put myself in a dangerous situation because I would be ready to go back to my normal. That's easy for me, right, just picking whatever I want to eat. But I had to be more strategic and more aligned to my fasting, and so I would always meal prep and have my things ready.

Speaker 1:

Well, during this seven day period that I tried to fast here a few months ago, I didn't prepare. I didn't have any meals prepared for myself to be ready, and so my boyfriend and I were deciding what did we want to eat for dinner, and the smart thing, right, is to go somewhere that serves veggies and just get you like a veggie plate. You can mainly find them, you know, at like soulful restaurants, places like that, our wellness places, vegan places, stuff like that, and then, mind you, I'm near Atlanta, so there's like a plethora of those to choose from. But because we were talking about it and I didn't have anything and I was like man, I can't even think what I wanted at the time. It was probably like a steak, a burger, something along those lines, and I'm about to give you too much now. So I'm sorry, but my cycle was on at the same time.

Speaker 1:

So I tell you this because it's important. So, as I'm talking to him about, as we're talking to each other about what we're going to eat, I really want this meat, like I'm craving meat, and he is no help. So this is the part where I say he just be giving me excuses to do whatever. However, because here he go talking about I mean, when you don't, don't worry about your fasting, because you, with your cycle on, anyway, you need the protein, so you need to eat some meat. Now that brother and I know doggone well, I got enough protein and weight to last me a few good days of fasting if I chose to. So, because my boo thing gave me this excuse. What I do, we go get some meat, we eat whatever, and I'm totally satisfied.

Speaker 1:

But at the same time, now I have lost the opportunity to fulfill my obligation to fast that I needed to do. It was certainly an obligation because it came to me in my spirit, but I did not fail the test and I got that one time that just eating that, that one time you probably would have thought, okay, fine, you messed up, but go back to the fast. And nope, that didn't happen. I went back to my regular degular, scheduled program of eating whatever, however, so I didn't quite fast at that time. So fast forward. Now here I am in another situation or another opportunity let's not say a situation another opportunity to fast and I want to share it with you because this is also an accountability piece for me too, to make sure I fully commit. So I am recording this podcast on Sunday May 19th. You all will be listening to it on Tuesday May 21st, but my fast will actually begin on Monday May 20th.

Speaker 1:

So there's a method to my madness with my fast that I want to break down and share with you. Why I always say I fast for mind, body and spirit. So let me tell you one thing about me. I, one of my guilty pleasures, is I love silence like absolute white noise. I can sit in my house and not have nothing on. No TV, no radio. I'm not on my cell phone, like nothing at all is happening. Only thing playing in my background is the noise from maybe the ceiling fan, the AC unit, you know house settling. Like those type white noise. I can be in total commitment and absolute silence. The difference about silence from fasting is that it can be very loud, but in the greatest way. So this is where the fast for mind, body and spirit come into play. So let me break that down for you. So I'll start with the mind piece of it. Right, the part of fasting for me in mind is where I cut out social media. That in itself, for this moment in time for me, and fasting is super important because what I realized, what has recently been happening in my life, is I have been letting social media speed me up.

Speaker 1:

So when I settled into, when my boyfriend and I settled into our new place, and you know I got everything boxed, we got everything unpacked and you know we were ready to start working on my products again with the Spirits of Tea Company and getting my online back up and running all of that stuff. I created a plan. I had a strategy in place that was working. It was, it was perfect. It was it was, it was perfect, it worked. And I had a strategy for everything right, because, remind me, I'm a Capricorn, so I'm very practical, so everything needs to be in its place, and so that's exactly how it was and it was working. I had my marketing in place. I had my postings, my social media postings, my emails that I send out. I had my schedule to build products. That was up. I was building a schedule to be at different events within the area because now, being a new area, I'm expanding my brand, I'm expanding my footprint. So I was signing up to be at different events as a vendor, as a participator, as a panelist, like all of these things. I had a plan in place to be a part of that.

Speaker 1:

Somewhere along the way I have lost sight of my plan, and a big part of that, a big a thing that played a big part of that in me, was social media. So I said I started letting social media speed me up, meaning I'm spending more time browsing social media and looking at how other people are doing things, how other people are experiencing success in this season, how other people are marketing, how other people are producing. And I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, because I can tell you, social media has been one of my greatest tools in growing my company in a lot of ways, but I was using it. It started to become not so much of a positive tool in this moment. I was using it because I was trying to figure out. I'm looking at other people's success in this season where mine is slowing down a bit it's a little bit slower than what I'm used to and I was trying to figure out, based on their success, what do I need to do to stay relevant in comparison to what I was seeing them doing. It don't even matter who that damn day, she, he, whoever it was.

Speaker 1:

Anytime I would see something that looked like success to me in social media, I would be like, okay, well, what do I need to do to be relevant? How do I? What do I need to be saying? What do I? How do I need to show up to be relevant? And here's the thing, honey, I don't forgot Like I am a child of God, I was born relevant. I'm gonna let you sit with that for a second. I am a child of God, I was born relevant.

Speaker 1:

So comparing myself or my business or my success in this season because every season success looks different, right, comparing myself to others and trying to stay relevant in an area where I was already relevant, I lost sight of my purpose and my reason for being in this place and space and time that God put me into. I lost sight of that. And when I lost sight of that. I lost sight of my fruit too.

Speaker 1:

See, the thing about social media it will fool you with those numbers, right those numbers? How many likes, how many clicks, how many downloads, how many people listening, especially with this podcast. I'm looking at my downloads, I'm looking at my listeners, I'm looking at my engagement and I'm like, okay, like I gotta, I gotta step my game up, and I do. But I lost sight of stepping my game up with in alignment with God and what he had planned for me. Now that's that's where the pure physicality and the human side of me is being louder than anything. Then my spiritual beliefs, then me being a child of God, then me knowing that I already have what it takes to thrive in my business in the way that I desire, because I'm in alignment with God.

Speaker 1:

So I lost sight that, when I am looking at my podcast, that the purpose of me starting this is to be a gatekeeper for somebody else. It's to be a gatekeeper for your healing, it's to be a gatekeeper for your success. Because I believe in servitude, I believe in being of service to others, I feel like that's where my blessings and my fruits live, that's where I thrive the most. And I lost sight of that. So I lost sight that there is fruit in one listener, there is fruit in 50 listeners, there is fruit in 5 million listeners. So no matter what that number looks like, there is fruit for me and I need to get back in alignment with God so I could begin to produce those fruits again, for the right reason and not comparing myself to what I see in social media, because we all know social media be hyping everything up Everybody. Life is grand and good and perfect in every way imaginable on social media.

Speaker 1:

So that's why, during my fast, I cut out social media, I cut out the news, I don't watch any news channels, I stay away from reading news articles, all of the things that can influence my mind in a way that I don't need it to. So that way I can listen for God, for my body in fasting. That's where I cut out the meats and the sweets and I eat a lot more veggies, fruits and only drink water. The water part is so important, although I pretty much get a good intake of water every day, but you know you gotta love a good cocktail too, right? And no matter how minor or how major, of how much alcohol you drink. It's an influence it's designed to do that. It's designed to stimulate something within you in some type of way. So I cut out the alcohol and I drink more water.

Speaker 1:

I definitely I'm an avid herbal tea drinker anyway, but this is a time where I really focus on that too to feed my body more of the things that I need and to cut out the things that I don't want, so that way my body can process in real time and purge the things that I am letting go. That really comes from the digestion right. It has a harder time processing meats and sweets, and especially for me in this season, because I no longer have a gallbladder to break down the fats and things that we get from like those more hairier foods like meats. So I do something for my body to to help me in this purge, because fasting is letting something go Right. And then the spirit side of it fasting for me is the intentional meditation and prayer and honestly, this is part of the.

Speaker 1:

This is probably to me the most important part, which is why I need my mind and body to be in alignment and cutting out social media and meets to help with the purge, because this is the part where I get to listen for God, silence, and I am closing out all of that other noise noise from comparing myself to others because what I see on social media, noise from news outlets and being their manipulative selves where they don't always tell the truth, and then cutting out, focusing like on my body where I'm having a hard time digesting. So it makes me feel sluggish, it makes me feel bad. I have aches and pains, all of those things. I need to be in alignment so my spirit can truly align to the frequency of the universe, so that way I may hear God, I may hear all the things that I have been praying for, all the things that I have been asking for clarity and guidance on that. I am intentionally creating the space to receive it. So that's where the meditations, the prayers and the journaling become more intentional for me to create space to do it, where I can hear, where I can receive, where I can perceive the things that are being given to me.

Speaker 1:

So I keep using the word intentional when talking about fasting and sharing this with you, because I want to say that fasting is not easy. When you fast, some of the vainest if that's a word temptations will show up. So when I first started fasting, one of the vainest if that's a word temptations will show up. So when I first started fasting, one of the things that was the telltale sign of how I was using my time was social media. I remember, in the very beginning of fasting and learning, you know what works for me. Every time I would pick up my phone like literally picking up my phone to check my emails, to call or text someone, to work on my website, all the things, not even recognizing it I would click on one of the doggone social media icons and then it's like two or three minutes later, a mindless scrolling, that I realized I'm even on social media. That's how bad that habit was for me that I realized, okay, this impacts my productivity. So I'm sharing that with you because if you decide to fast, I want you to make sure that you are being as intentional as possible. So that brings me to the self-discovery prompt for this episode and it is an action. I want you to take an intentional pause and fast.

Speaker 1:

I shared how I do my fast and what I'm about to faithfully get back to doing like I was doing before. But for you, your fast doesn't have to look like mine right. You can try it and maybe it'll work for you and maybe you'll see that is something different that you need to do for yourself. You can Google fasting. I can tell you it's a whole lot of information out there in different ways that you can do it. You don't have to do fasting for seven days. You can do fasting for one day, just for 24 hours.

Speaker 1:

I promise you there are fruits in fasting. I have never fast where I didn't leave that fast, coming off feeling fulfilled. Every time I feel at peace, every time I feel like I have the clarity that I need, every time I feel like I am re-energized to start back, but in the right way this time. And I say the right way because sometimes we get so busy in life that we are not even busy doing the things that's going to produce fruits. We just doing things, we just operating, we just moving, we just checking boxes, and it may not be the effective thing that you need to do in this season. And then, when you are a mother, when you are an employer, when you are an employee of some type, when you are a member, when you're an associate, when you are a daughter, when you are a friend. All of these things and people add unnecessary pressures to my, to our lives that we don't even realize, and a lot of it is unintentional, right, but that's where we have to be more intentional with ourselves and take that intentional pause. It's very important. So I want you to do that for yourself. It doesn't matter if you do it for a day, whatever it looks like to you, if you're not even sure what it looks like. Pray on it, meditate on it, ask for guidance in how do you need to fast. What do you need to sacrifice in this moment? Do one day, do three days, do seven days, do whatever. Whatever works for you. But take that intentional pause because something in me is telling me that you need it. My spirit is telling me that you need it.

Speaker 1:

I have told in my past of talking about fasting with these two young ladies who are young mothers and they were telling me about you know, their lifestyle and their day to day and how they don't really have time with these young children to to take that intentional pause on life. And I said you know, the thing is is that you all could fast together. So what I meant by together is that they can plan together they could agree to babysit each other's kids. So maybe, like for one day out of the weekend, on Saturday, the first young lady, she keeps the other young lady's kids and the other young lady uses that day to complete her fasting. That way she has no distraction. And then the next day the other young lady who has completed her fast gets all the kids her own and her friends and she keeps them in. The other young lady, you know, completes her fasting. And they actually built their own little tradition of doing this once a month.

Speaker 1:

And I still talk to these two young ladies today and they are, you know it's been one of the best things that they decided to do in their journey. So I tell you that because there's ways around it. I know that you're probably going to think of a million things in your mind that I'll have the time to stop right now. I got to do this, I got to do that. But I can tell you even we put that unnecessary pressure on ourselves because a lot of times that thing that we swear down needs to be done as of yesterday can wait another day, two, three, four, whatever you need, so that when you go back to do that thing, you are fully charged to do it at a level that's in alignments with God's plan, so you can thrive and be successful in the way that he purposed it to be in the beginning.

Speaker 1:

All right, so before I let y'all go off and be great in your intentional pause on life, let's get into the last thing for this episode, which is our Reiki channel collective message.

Speaker 1:

Like all things, if it resonates, let it apply, if it doesn't, let it fly. But don't let it fly too far, as these messages are also evergreen, just like our conversations, and may have future resonance with you, because best believe, as much as you may love me or love hearing my voice, you are not here by happy stance in this moment in time, and the message is you have something that you are attempting to do, like something that you want to accomplish, but you are allowing fear to hold you back, and this fear is starting to manifest into a feeling of unsafe within you, and spirit wants me to tell you that that fear in your mind is far, far more worse than what it really is in reality. And because you have this fear, you are really shortcutting yourself. Fear, you are really shortcutting yourself. You are trying to take shortcuts to get the skill set, the knowledge or whatever it is that you need to accomplish this thing. But this is bigger than what you think it is. You really need to take the scenic route with this and no shortcuts, right. I don't know if it's like a training course or if it's going back to school or if it's already a skillset that you kind of already have, but you need to extend and kind of perfect your practice. You need to do that and you need to seek out different source of wisdom, maybe a spiritual leader, or just tap into traditional knowledge. But you really need to take your time and to perfect this, because the safety that you want to feel and that you need to feel is in your knowing. It's in your knowledge and in your practice. So don't cut yourself short. Do all the things that you need to in a traditional way to get what you need, so you can truly be successful in accomplishing this goal.

Speaker 1:

All right, beautiful souls, that is it for this very impromptu episode. I hope I didn't chase squirrels too bad, and if I did I'm so sorry, but y'all gonna get all this realness. Today. I ask that you pray for your good sis, because day two, day three of no meets. Be real rough, real, real rough on a girl, but this too shall pass until next time. Keep taking up space and refill yourself, because you can't pour shit from an empty cup. Take care, thank you.