Her Cup Overflows Podcast

Check Yo Self B4 You Wreck Yo Self

• Qwanze Tolbert • Episode 7

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Ever wondered how balancing your chakras could transform your life? This episode of Her Cup Overflows reveals the secrets behind these vital energy centers, starting with the root chakra, the bedrock of our stability and security. Hear about real-life examples where Reiki has alleviated physical pain due to chakra imbalances. Discover actionable grounding activities, from tree hugging to walking barefoot on the grass, to help you regain your footing and enhance your well-being.

We then journey through the pivotal phases of personal growth with the solar plexus and heart chakras. Learn how adolescence shapes your self-perception and personal power, and how early relationships can influence these formative years. Get ready to challenge your understanding of heartbreak as we explore the heart chakra's role in fostering love and connection. Personal stories illustrate the profound impact of an imbalanced heart chakra, offering deep insights into emotional healing and balance.

Our voyage through the chakras concludes with the throat, third eye, and crown chakras—each essential for self-expression, intuition, and spiritual growth. Uncover the importance of genuine communication through a balanced throat chakra, and see how the third eye can help you transcend everyday biases. Finally, delve into the crown chakra's quest for deeper meaning, a journey that often unfolds in midlife. This episode is an inspiring blend of wisdom and practical advice, encouraging you to embrace love, practice self-care, and continue your healing journey with renewed energy. Stay beautiful and connected!

Welcome back to Her Cup Overflows podcast. I'm your host and cultured certified Reiki master, Qwanze Tolbert. If you're new here or you chose to circle the block with me, I thank you and welcome you just the same. Her Cup Overflows is a listening community of healing for the mind, body, and soul. Each episode is a timeless conversation overflowing with wisdom to fill your cup with resilience, courage, and empowerment.

These conversations are inspired by real life experiences, the traumas, and the triumphs. But it wouldn't be a place for healing if I didn't hold a safe space for trauma without judgment, but with accountability, honesty and commitment. Because in those three things lies your superpower to overcome life's adversities and that new energy becomes the catalyst to you living out loud, living freely and unapologetically on your terms.

That is Her Cup Overflows.

Lately I've found myself talking more and more about chakras. In my recent podcasts, personal and professional conversations and through some of the text messages and inboxes I've received have been asking questions about chakras. First of all, the actual word is pronounced CHAKRUHS but the country in me won't let me be great cause I stay saying chakras. But yall do better ok. So, because we are on this healing journey together, we bout to tap into our inner Ice Cube and learn how to check yo self before you wreck yo self with this in-depth discussion about chakras and how they really impact you mentally, physically, and spiritually.  

I was reading a book once that described us humans as a "walking rainbow, full of possibilities and magic" due to the chakras we have within are the same color spectrum as a rainbow and the seemingly unimaginable things that can happen when your chakras are in a healthy and balanced state.  Chakras are energy centers within the human body that are linked to particular qualities, colors, and elements that influence various physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our well-being. In one of my previous podcasts, you've most likely heard me compare the chakras' functionalities to a car battery. Like a car battery, if your chakras are perfectly balanced with the right amount of energy, your car (your vessel, your body) works like a well-oiled machine. No aches, no pains, no illnesses, no depression, stress, anxiety, all the things, right? But if your chakras have too much or too little energy, you experience things like burn out, sickness, pains, emotional traumas, laziness, things that you possibly think are uncontrollable to an extent. So much like a car, if a car battery energy is depleted, the car will not start. Or, if the battery is getting too much juice, it's going to blow. You are no different than a car's performance when it comes to your chakras.

So, there are 7 main chakras in our bodies that I am going to cover in detail, so you get a good understanding of each and how they impact your day to day, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Starting with the root chakra.

The root chakra is located at the base of your spine and is associated with the color red. It influences your overall health and vitality in life and is a part of your masculine energy. Your root chakra's sense or need in this world is stability, security, and physical survival. It's your need to be certain of things in life. Usually, an underactive root chakra will make you feel out of place, unbalanced, insecure, or like you don't have any control in toxic situations. An overactive root chakra will do the total opposite and you're more of a control freak. You have a hard time letting go and have traits of a narcissist. The root chakra starts to develop from birth to the age of 7. As I always say, everything in life comes full circle from a baby through adulthood. So, think about newborns when they are 1st born. The 1st thing the hospital staff does is place the baby on the mother's chest. Then, swaddle the baby. This influences the sense of belonging and security that directly feeds the baby's root chakra. And from there, depending on how you were raised and the environment in which you were raised in could positively or negatively impact the root chakra as a young child. And if it's negative, most of us live with that well into our adulthood with that sense of instability, fear of abandonment and so on because we don't know any better. As an adult, the unbalanced root chakra manifest in physical ways such as legs, feet, and lower back pains. I've done Reiki on a beautiful soul who were experiencing severe knee pain. She had a few different doctor appointments and prescribed meds but the pain wasn't getting any better. Because she had already had some Reiki sessions with me, she messaged me about her knee. We talked about it and scheduled some time together for a Reiki session. After the Reiki session, we talked a few days later and she said her knees felt like the pain had never existed. See the thing about Reiki is, it's not magic but it's magical. And sometimes the things that physically impact us in life is not always driven by other physical things; sometimes it's just pure displaced, stagnant, traumatic, negative energy that is starting to manifest in the physical which brings me to another point… the root chakra is also connected to the Earth. When I have Reiki sessions with individuals who have a really hard time opening up or being vulnerable to allow the energy work to be effective, I will tell them to go hug a tree (a living one) or walk outside in the grass barefoot. I know that sounds crazy as hell but trust me, it works. The reasoning is because connecting your physical body to something of the Earth creates grounding energy. So if you're ever feeling unsafe (for no obvious reason) or unbalanced, go hug a tree. 

The 2nd chakra is the sacral chakra located below the naval. While the root chakra is focused on relationship with self and being certain, the sacral chakra is influenced by your relationship with others and being spontaneous. Spontaneous because to be in relationships with others require some flexibility. The sacral chakra is associated with the color orange and is related to your feminine energy of intimacy, sexuality, emotional balance, and the ability to surrender. And its sense is to feel. So, think about in your various relationships as a parent, a friend, a spouse, how all of these things can look a little different. As a parent, your ability to surrender may be a bit more limited than what it would be with your boothang. Or if you're in a situationship, you may not be as sexual or nasty as you would be in a committed relationship. And to some degree, all of the relationships you value requires some form of intimacy because you are sharing parts of you with someone else. But depending on the state of your sacral chakra, determines the level of intimacy you give. Then with the sexuality part of it, children usually start becoming curious about sex between the ages 8-14 which is the ages in which the sacral chakra starts to develop. So once again, full circle moment, this is not a coincidence. 

But let me tell you what else is not a coincidence, the parts of the physical body that the sacral chakra influences is the lower abdomen, hips, and reproductive organs and its element is water. So ladies, when God said you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that includes your treasure trove that is always compared to water. What Jeezy said "she got that Aquafina flow", yeah hmm mm. So what does an underactive or overactive sacral chakra look like… low libido, sex addict or any other addiction, manipulative, female reproductive issues such as menstrual, or fertility issues, or male issues like low sperm count or erectile dysfunction. 

Now another characteristic of your sacral chakra is creativity. So if you listened to the last episode, I was dropping gems about yoni steaming as part of manifesting to ensure your sacral chakra is open and balanced to manifest out of creativity. Another gem I'll share is the sacral chakra and your root chakras are partners in crime when it comes to manifesting. It's your manifestation yin and yang because your sacral chakra is your feminine energy that helps you to creatively imagine what you're trying to manifest and your root chakra carries the masculine energy needed to bring it to life, to produce it. Remember I talked about as females, we birth our desires, dreams, and ideas from the same place we birth babies, our wombs. Well we also need that masculine energy to produce the fruit we need to bring those intentions to life. This is where the concept of "fake til you make it" becomes a real thing because with manifesting, you need to set your intention by imagining it and then start being it or living it in a way of what that dream or desire would look like as if you already had it.  

Ok so the 3rd chakra is your solar plexus located above the navel around the stomach area and has masculine energy. The Sanskrit meaning for solar plexus is "lustrous gem" which is very much on point because its color is yellow and it's related to your identity aka how does your true self shine. Its sense is sight which if it was a question, it would be "how do I see myself". I think the most profound, full circle thing for me about the solar plexus is the age it starts to develop which is between 15-21. So if you think about the 1st 2 chakras, the root is about relationship with self and develops from birth to age 7. And the sacral chakra is about your relationship with others and develops between 8-14, by the age of 15 and up until you are 21, your solar plexus development is heavily shaped by the relationships you have had with yourself and others up to this point in your life. And like I've discussed before, you're personal character or identity at that point has most likely either shrunk or grown based on those experiences.

The funny thing about the solar plexus… on social media, folks often be mad at the zodiac, Leos because they tend to be confident, very confident… right, wrong or indifferent. But the Leos, Aries, and Sagittarius are all fire signs which is the element of the solar plexus. So they really are acting out of true character. Now doing too much is such a thing and so is doing too little so underactive or overactive signs of the solar plexus are arrogance, impatience, and ironically low self-esteem which is often disguised by the overcompensating confidence. When it isn't natural and forced, work on your solar plexus. From a physical perspective, when you have issues with your pancreas, liver, gallbladder, and small intestine, it could also be related to the current state of your solar plexus. I'm not a doctor and I most certainly believe that science and spirituality are cousins. So if you are not getting the medical answers that you are looking for or don't make sense, don't sleep on energy healing… I'm just saying.  

So the 4th chakra is the heart chakra. Have you ever heard the saying "the heart has a mind of its own"? Well it really does. So, the bottom 3 chakras: root, sacral, and solar plexus are all interconnected just like the top 3: the throat, 3rd eye, and crown chakras. The heart is not interconnected with any other chakra. And that's because it's considered to be a pure place of balance that can't be influenced by any other thing. So stay with me, I'm going somewhere. I know you are like I once was in thinking like nah, the heart is heavily influenced by a lot of things particularly relationships and heartbreak. Well in the grand scheme of things, when you truly think about a heartbreak, is it really that your heart is broken or is it your emotions that feels like a heart break? So, let's challenge this theory for shits and giggles. Think about a relationship (if you could) that you once had that ended not so good. How would you describe how you truly felt… can you truly say that your heart was broken or was it that you were devastated? You were disappointed? You were hurt? Maybe even shame, embarrassed, confused, maybe even felt inadequate because this person cheated and chose different than you? Whatever the feels were, they were exactly that, feels, emotions. You see that! Now although the heart cannot be broken, what can happen is the change in your heart chakra's energy. It can either improve or decrease based on an experience because the heart chakra is about acceptance, equality, love, and connection which is why its sense is touch. Through physical touch such as hugs, kisses, and PDA feeds our heart chakra because it means we have been accepted even if for that moment and we are being and feeling loved. The heart chakra's energy is feminine and it starts to develop between ages of 22-28. The interesting thing about this development age is these are the ages where some of us cause not everybody matures at the same time but we start to create or desire more meaningful relationships. We're kind of over that child's play love and looking for something more serious. Because we've been through the phase of learning to love ourselves. Then we go through the phase of learning to love others through a variety of relationships. And then based on that, we start to identify ourselves and how do we want to show up in the world. How do we want to be seen. So, we start to look for people during these ages who can complement the acceptance of our identity.  

So, I'm going to share a quick personal story. With my recent relocation, I learned my heart chakra was out of balance through my unusual attraction for the color green which is the heart chakra's associated color. I have a favorite color but it is not green, never have been. In my move, I decided I was going to start from scratch with darn near everything household wise. Aside from all things, The Spiritual Tea Co., there were only 2 things out of my home I was keeping. My and my son's bedroom sets. Both were fairly new as I just bought them about a year before I moved for my 40th birthday. It was my treat to myself, not sure how my son became a part of this treat but he did. But at that point, I was almost $7000 deep in planning my 40th themed, very elaborate birthday party when my Capricorn showed up one random morning about 4 months before my party and I canceled my plans and decided to spend my coins on me. I said nothing to no one. I went and ordered the car I wanted and new furniture and it all just showed up at the house. So when I got ready to move, I only kept these things because they were new but I got rid of everything else. I either sold it or gave it to my daughter who was also planning her move into her 1st place. All I know is I wanted to start fresh with basically everything from the most simple things like kitchen utensils to living room furniture. Of course, I said I'm a Capricorn so you know planning will still be top notch hammercy lawd. So, I'm creating all these mood boards of furniture inspo and I notice I'm being so drawn to the color green. Green appliances, green décor, rugs, whatever. In this season, I'm so drawn to the color green, every time I got my nails done, it was a shade of green. It was like crack, it was calling me. So when I notice this, I start to take inventory of self. Certain things like this just become second nature to me being that I am certified in energy healing so please don't expect this to just be natural or obvious unless you are that tuned in. Another thing that I didn't even think about at the time, I started having this weird chest pain. I go to the doctor. She sees nothing at all and says it could be related to a strained muscle and recommends OTCs which is how minor medically it really was. So, at this point, I start to focus on how do I feel energetically. And truth, my heart chakra was emotionally going through the changes. My babe and I were moving in together for the 1st time. Although, we had been together for years, we always had our own places and that worked for us. There was no pressure from either side to do anything different and force a move in together when we were both content during that season in our relationship. Then, the biggest thing is I was truly about to be an empty nester. My son was headed to college and my daughter was moving into her own place. And these things did make me question different aspects of my love and bonds from my babe to my children. Like will moving in together change the way we see each other? Will the distance between my kids and I change the way we interact and love on each other? I was really worried about this acceptance of change that could impact our love that I had not verbally spoke on. So, I talked about it with each of them. We had those hard, reassuring and affirming conversations that helped to restore and balance my heart chakra. And we've successfully relocated, physically and energetically. Now I still have these green appliances and décor that I ordered before having those convos tho but it has transformed into rich bae energy and it's giving luxe and so I, we, me and bae are good. 

On to the 5th chakra which is made of masculine energy which is the throat chakra and it is associated with the color blue. The sense of the throat chakra is hearing while the right is to express. This too is another full circle moment in understanding because the throat is obviously related to communication. And we all know effective communication is equally parts, listening and speaking. The Sanskrit meaning of the throat chakra is genuine truth in my verbal expression. And what makes this interesting is because the throat chakra develops between the ages of 29-35. This is after we've established our identity through the solar plexus and we've accepted ourselves so we start to communicate in our most authentic expressions. When we say living unapologetically, this is that space. When we have a healthy balanced throat chakra, we express ourselves in ways that speaks to our understanding, perception, and intellect rather than emotions and unnecessary opinions. 

I have a good Judy some months ago who was having issues with her throat so she went to an ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat Doctor). The ENT ran some test and his diagnosis was her throat is "crowded".  Now usually when the word crowded is used in context, there is a reason. For example, a room could be crowded because there are too many people or too much furniture in it. A driveway could be crowded because there are too many cars parked in it. But a throat being crowded without additional context told me all I needed to know as an energy healer. Because this is my good Judy, I also know most of her current frustrations that she was dealing with a lot at work. She is a Sr. leader of color and was constantly put in spaces where she had to verbally prove or defend herself whether it be her accomplishments, her leadership, strategy, whatever. So, I immediately told her she needs to work on her throat chakra. Cause the gag is just because you talk a lot doesn't mean that you are communicating. And I don't say that as an offense to her but rather the opposite. See sis had been spending so much time and energy trying to verbally prove things to people who had no desire to be proven to even when the facts were present. So when we spend time overly defending and proving ourselves verbally, we cannot hear the divine and lose understanding in knowing when a battle is not yours.  Because the real tea is sometimes communicating is saying nothing at all. Your silence can have more power than your words ever will. 

So getting to the 6th chakra, the 3rd eye which is more commonly known as your 6th sense. The Sanskrit meaning of the 3rd eye is command and to receive. The 3rd eye actually does not have a specific energy like feminine or masculine. It's where these 2 energies become one to allow you to see the bigger picture. So think about how men and women think differently about a lot of things. If the 3rd eye only operated on one type of energy, it could influence the 6th sense of perception based on bias in a way that only a female or male would see it which most often than not, based on emotions. So the 3rd eye removes the limitation of sight beyond the physical and the emotional. This is where your intuition comes into play because your 3rd eye relates to your psychic gifts, imagination, and dreams. And it is when we start to connect to our higher selves. The funny thing is you'll hear people talk about an aspect of your 3rd eye as a Mother's intuition. And supposedly, it's this strong sense that only mothers or females have when they experience a certain feeling about people, places, and things. It's like an inner knowing. Contrary to popular belief, everybody has this Mother's intuition regardless of their gender. Females just have a stronger sense of it because feminine energy is creative which is a necessary part of the imagination. And in this life, we like to assign certain characteristics to a gender. In my experience, men who are creative and allow themselves to show up in their authenticity tend to be more softer in nature and more vulnerable. Not less manly at all, just less rough around the edges. The 3rd eye's associated color is indigo and is reactive to light which is another full circle moment in understanding how energy works because how do we see something fully in the physical, with Sunlight, room light, or a flashlight… God has a sense of humor for sure. Everything just makes sense.

And last of the 7 main chakras is the crown chakra which is associated with the color violet or white. The thing that I love about the crown chakra in this season of my life, is that it is just making more and more sense to me about where I am in life physically, mentally, and spiritually. The crown chakra starts to develop between the ages of 42-49 and it is during the time in our lives where we are seeking more meaning and purpose in life. And it's Sanskrit means "thousand fold" representing the many petals of the lotus flower that rises from the mud to bloom. Chile, most of us at this point done got it out the mud in every way imaginable. So we are looking to take that wisdom to bloom and blossom where we are planted during these stages of our lives. In the physical state, less becomes more and more becomes less. On a mental and energetic level, everything valuable to you is more so divine and priceless like a peace of mind. Peace in your home, peace in your relationships, having peace in the workplace is the state that you find yourself longing for most often than not. This also the place where your relationship with the divine often deepens. Because you've done some things and you've seen some things based on human perspective, so you seek depth and truth from the divine which is why the crown chakra isn't related to any sense, element, nor food. It's food type is actually fasting. So if you listened to my Fasting podcast, this would make so much more sense. 

Between the 6th and 7th chakras, 3rd eye and crown developing is when I feel like we really tap into our grown and sexy. And we gain a better understanding of the concept "minding the business that pays you". My good Judy recently sent me a Tik Tok relative to this asking me if I agreed. So the Tik Tok video was basically a couple of stitches. The 1st stitch was of a woman who looked like she had been crying asking at what age do we stop caring about what other people think about us. So the 2nd woman comes into the video stating that the age is 40 and she stitches another video that explains why. Well the lady in the last video talks about how from a young age through adulthood we have this bucket of fucks that we carry. Her words, I reposted this video to my Tik Tok, The Spiritual Tea Co. if you want to see it. But anyway, the lady explains that over time, we start to feel the weight of the bucket of fucks we are carrying and we start not to give a fuck about a lot of it so we start to let some of those fucks go. If a fuck falls out of the bucket that we no longer care about, we leave it and keep it moving. And she suggests that this happens around the age of 40. So, I responded to my friend and said I absolutely agree with an energetic perspective. So think about the things I've explained about the 3rd eye and crown chakras. Our 3rd eye chakra begins to develop between ages 36-42. And that's your intuition so you start to become more focused on self than worldly things. So, that's just the beginning of no longer giving a fuck about unnecessary stuff. But your crown chakra starts to expand between the ages of 42-49 because at this point, you really don't give a fuck about him, her, this, nor that. You begin to search for more meaning and purpose in your life. So you really don't have time nor the energy to give a fuck about much else. A lot of stuff just becomes irrelevant based on chakra development.

Listen, I'm giving yall this chakra tea. Don't be round here judging these folks and their chakras because they are acting out of character and age based on what you are now being a subject matter expertise. As they say in the corporate world, a SME. Because I'm still a work in progress like I told you before and I find myself often looking or listening to someone and thinking ooh they need to work on their sacral chakra. Or, oooh their solar plexus is off. But I am doing the inner and outer energy healing work tho so that counts for something 

So here's the work that I want you to do for yourself with this week's self-discovery prompt. This most likely is not a one and done activity and it really should be an ongoing one. It may require some self-observation over time. And I say may because maybe you've already noticed certain things about yourself and have become curious about these things but not really sure what's triggering it. So this is where I want you to be intentionally mindful of your energy and identify which chakra or chakras may be needing a lil TLC. Maybe it's pain you feel in a certain location of your body, maybe it's a thought that just simply won't go away or maybe it's a weird attraction to a color like I had. Then, when you identify the chakra in need, do the energy work to heal it. There are many ways to balance your chakras. I'm going to always recommend Reiki because it is my ministry and testimony. But meditation works too. Each chakra vibrates to a certain frequency, just google it. And then meditate to that frequency. You can find targeted frequency meditation music on YouTube. Some even include mantras or affirmations that help to balance your chakras. You can do light therapy, sound therapy, or even crystal healing. I talked the metaphysical properties of crystals in my last episode that can definitely help balance your chakras. But whatever it is, do the work so you can release the things that no longer serve you and embrace the things that do because you deserve nothing but the best in life. 

So let's get into the last thing for this episode, which is our Reiki channeled collective message. Like all things, if it resonates, let it apply. If it doesn't, let it fly. But don't let it fly too far, as these messages are also evergreen, just like our conversations, and may have future resonance with you. Because, best believe, as much as you love me, or love hearing my voice, you are not here by happenstance in this moment in time. 

Listen, I'm loving the message for this week because, honey, one of you, or all of you, or some of you, the love glow up is real, like there is a whole twin soul vibe that is happening right now and it feels very long lasting, it feels like next level, it's like a rekindling of some type. It actually feels new but old at the same time. So hopefully this resonates with somebody. But the thing about this is that you have overcome some obstacle in your life that was keeping you from this place and, baby, you have arrived. Okay, you have arrived. Like I said, the love glow up is real. There's some freedom here that you are experiencing. You're releasing anxiety. It's almost like an end of punishment, which, oh my God, that's. That's terrible. 

So I love this for you because you have a clear mind, like there's some mental strength here. And even with thinking about the strengths, it's almost like this love, whatever or whoever it is this is so strong, but this person is so gentle and so loyal that they're allowing you to tap into the strengths and talents that's going to allow you to win in this life and in this love. And let me just tell you make sure that you're using your discernment in this too, because even though it is great, it could definitely be betrayed by you allowing old experiences to creep into it. So make sure that you're using your discernment and trust the situation that you are in, cause, honey, this twin soul vibe, is it? The situation that you are in, cause, honey, this twin soul vibe, is it? It feels real good, okay, so just be mindful of that. 

The thing about this message, too, is it may be a little bit confusing, because when you hear about twin soul vibes, it is not the same. It is not always saying that this is another person. Maybe this is you, maybe you've been following the Her Cup Overflows podcast and you've been doing that work since, and now the glow up is real for you. So maybe it's you, maybe you are falling in love with you Again, that's allowing all these things to show up and release the old you. Or maybe it is a new boo thing, I don't know, but something here is showing up and it feels really good for you and I love that. For you, it's all about love. It feels long. Lasting. This is like next level, next stage, and you about to win, sis, that's just it. So you enjoy that. Let it live, let it breathe. Take your time, do it right.

All right, beautiful souls, as always I thank you for sharing space with me. That is it for this episode. Remember you can always anonymously connect with me via the text link in each of my Buzzsprout episodes if nothing more than to say, hey girl heyyyyy. Until next time, keep taking up space and refill yourself, because you can't pour shit from an empty cup, take care.